I’ve tried to write this a few times over the last six months and I’ve come to the conclusion that I actually don’t want to. It’s really not that interesting a story to write about. I got sick. I was in the most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced. I thought a massage might help but when I couldn’t get off the massage table (I was in that much pain), they decided to call the ambulance. It turned out to be a staph infection of my sternoclavicular joint and clavicle. Osteomyelitis & septic arthritis for those who like correct medical terminology. A giant pain in the neck for those who could care less.
We don’t know how. It’s not something that’s supposed to happen to healthy, uninjured people. But happen it did. I initially confounded the medical staff with my general lack of sickness and total lack of intravenous drug use, but they eventually figured it out and got me on the right antibiotics. I experienced the dubious charms of bed pans, shower chairs, PICC lines, CT scans, MRI’s and one handsome young anaesthetist who refused to put me in a coma. I really didn’t think it was too much to ask given how much pain I was in and how utterly useless his drugs were. Sigh.
Anyway, after 12 nights in hospital, one month on IV antibiotics and two weeks on oral antibiotics, I’m better. Life has returned to business as usual. I’ve forgiven the handsome young anaesthetist...more or less. I’ve developed a new appreciation for my husband who kept our kids alive and in clean and appropriate clothing. He got them to school and to their extracurricular activities. He even remembered to bring them home after. I wasn’t sure that he had it in him but he really stepped up. He did good. Thanks, Husband.
My family and friends did an awesome job of making me feel loved. And I discovered that after years of feeling ambivalent about the ordinariness of my mundane, mediocre life, I actually love it. I love my life!! I even cried over not being able to take my daughter to netball training. Who does that?!
I have a new respect for people suffering from debilitating illness and chronic pain. I don’t really have words to describe how humbling and vulnerable it was to be totally reliant on others to have my most basic needs met, even for such a short time. I’m definitely guilty of taking my health and independence for granted. I’m sure I will again. But right now I’m feeling pretty grateful to have my health and independence.
This was my first time being an acute patient in a busy hospital. I really had no idea what goes on in hospitals and how much respect I owe to all the people who work there. From doctors and nurses all the way down to the cleaners and catering staff. I take my hat off to you all. Thanks for taking such great care of me. You guys are the best.
And as an addendum to my last blog post I was absolutely correct in thinking that it’s better not to get hospitalised with some weird disease. If you need a break take one but definitely find a different, less painful way to take it. Xxoo
PS my kids were scary resilient about the whole thing. I’m the teensiest bit worried that they weren’t more worried, but I’m mostly just glad that they’re okay.